~Just a thought~

This past week so much happened in a very short amount of time with very little time to think, only react. I hope I have reacted right. I sit hear looking back and thinking about all that has happened and get over come with emotions.
Last Sunday (Oct. 16) Ward hurt his knee bad enough he needed surgery. He injured it on Sunday and was in surgery on Thursday. Just the thought of surgery makes me nervous let alone someone I love going in for it. The last time he went in for knee surgery it was 2001. We had just moved into our home, I didn't know anybody well in our new area. I prayed hard, looked for a familiar name on the ward list then left my baby with her, a stranger, I only knew her name and were she lived. I sat in an old hospital alone and cried. I had never felt so alone before. I was in a new state, a new ward, no one to help. I cried and prayed like I had never done before. I wanted a friend, someone to walk in the hospital, hold my hand and sit with me. Just sit, don't talk, just sit and be there. No one came. I headed home alone leaving Ward at the hospital. I picked up our little girl and had her sleep in our bed with me. Morning couldn't come fast enough for me to go back to the hospital and pick up Ward. This time I took our baby with me, I didn't want to leave her again.

I thought about those feelings again as we planned on Ward's surgery. I didn't want to feel alone again, I didn't want our girls to feel alone or left behind while I waited at the hospital. So I had the girls go with us to the hospital. I was so glad I did. I know it was probably selfish on my part, in the long run it was perfect. We all sat and laughed, talked, and the girls had lots of questions they were able to get answered by seeing everything first hand. The nurses were great not only with Ward, but with the girls as well. They talked to them about what they were doing, they gave them hats and masks and helped them feel a part of the process. One of our girls would stand by Ward or hold his hand, she would look at me and smile and nod her head, as if to tell me he would be fine. These two little girls were my strength that day. I know they don't understand that, but they were my little friends to hold my hand and sit with me! I love them so much. I am so grateful Ward's surgery was a success. He looked great when we saw him. He looked pain free. I know that may sound funny, he just came from surgery but the pain he had been carrying in his eyes was gone. I was so happy for him, he had relief.
While we were at the hospital a wonderful friend called just to check in since she had just gotten home from her trip. She had no idea where we were. When I told her she said she was on her way, not only to be there for me but to help me with the girls. She was going to go pick them up if they were in town, she was ready to come to the hospital and get them to stay with her family until I got home. She was concerned about me and my family, she showed love for us just by her genuine desire to be there for me. She was willing to serve me even though she was tired from her own duties of the day. Over the weekend her and her husband came over to blow out our sprinklers because the weather was scheduled to make a change for the worse and they knew Ward wouldn't be able to do it. Several other neighbors came over to see how we were doing, they were concerned with Ward's car being home during the day, they took time out of their busy life's to make sure we were doing well. I am so grateful for them and the love they show to my family.
We also learned a dear neighbor lost her husband in an accident. I am so grateful for my knowledge of the Plan of Salvation. I am grateful for the testimony I have of of eternal families. Life can be so short, it is hard when a loved one leaves this earth. I want to take more time to cherish the ones I love, to make sure they know they are loved in ways they can't begin to understand. I want to be a better person because they deserve that from me.  I want to be the person I was intended to be, not the person I think I am.  I want to be the person our girls think I am.
I read this blog and found this amazing entry.  It really made me stop and think with all that has gone on in my little world and my neighbors.  As we take a look around yourself do you ever wonder what others are going through?  We all go through our own secret sorrows, we all wear a mask of what we want others to see. Do you ever take the time to look at others, really look at them and see their signs?  I am going to try to be more kind, not so judgemental, I may never know what their sign says but I can give them the benefit of the doubt, just like I hope they do me.